.. Or, The A to Z of 2014
A is for Ant, the last of the turkeys. Since he arrived in 2013 the ubiquitous Mr Fox has taken all of his companions including 8 Bourbon Red and 9 Norfolk Bronze turkeys. His soul mate Dec was snatched off a wall by a fox just last week and Ant is inconsolable. I now have to decide if it would be kinder to serve him on a plate or start looking around for new mates.
B is for Billy Goat and Rolo is absolutely magnificent and not yet fully grown. He's a British Primitive Goat which was once known as the Old English/Scottish/Welsh/Irish, British Landrace or Old British Goat. The breed descends from the first farmers in the Neolithic period and was moved around by Celts, marauding Vikings and Saxons. These goats are almost predator proof and are largely used these days for Conservation Grazing and scrub clearance.
C is for cat and I've got two types of felines on the farm - three feral who go about their work unseen but have reduced the rat population to virtually nil and are unsung heros and three pampered indoor cats who have eradicated - it seems - the mice population.
D is for dog and I've not yet got one because I'm in a bit of a dilemma at what breed to choose. Should I get a dog(s) it will defintely be an outdoors animal designed purely to ward off or attack foxes otherwise security is left to the geese who already do a cracking job. The problem is I can't have a dog(s) that might stray off into neighbouring farmland and end up being shot on sight by farmers who need to protect their sheep and lambs. Any advice please let me know.
E is for eggs and they're in very short supply at the moment, partly because it's winter and partly because my remaining five hens are still in a state of shock after more than 20 of their companions were slaughtered by a couple of foxes who broke in to their compound.
F is for Frank my white pheasant. He's a lovely, friendly little chap who has survived two shooting seasons but alas he is lonely after his female partner disappeared earlier in the year. Despite that he's tried to mate with any white bird he sees which has caused consternation in the hen house and a bit of a flap with Philomenia my white peahen who defintely thinks he's punching above his weight.
G is for geese and they are the talk of the launderette in the Borders. Led by ferocious gander Jack, Vera and Bluebell have earned notoriety among the postmen, couriers and delivery men and women who come to our door ... and then run like hell after being ambushed by the geese. Better than any watchdog, that's for sure. Let's hope 2015 will see a successful breeding program between Jack and Vera the two Toulouse geese.
H are for hens and 2014 was a rollercoaster year for my rare breed Scots Dumpys. Having assembled some beautiful specimens from the Isle of Wight, Northampton, Cheshire, Manchester and Biggar a successful breeding programme got underway headed by cockerels Horatio and Napoleon. Their fame spread far and wide and they were used foir farmyard scenes in an American hit TV series focussing on 17th century Scotland called Outlander. Tragedy struck a few months back when atleast two foxes tunneled their way into the hen compound killing most of the occupants. Horatio survived but lost his cock-a-doodle-do and most of his neck feathers while the last four surviving females have not laid an egg for two months now.
I is for Insecta, the scientific classification for the common honeybee and at the moment I'm the proud owner of six colonies. While 2013 provided a bumper crop, last year was rather disappointing in honey terms but I'm hopeful this year the bees will really start doing the business ... if they survive the weather. One colony has already been destroyed thanks to 100mph gales which blew over the hive and scattered the occupants inside.
J is for the Jed Forest Hunt. In 2013 I told them to steer clear of my land but the following year went cap in hand and asked them for help with my fox problem. In the last year they and their supporters have reported 49 dead foxes ... and they still keep on coming. Who said country foxes are heading for the cities - the blighters continue to wreak havoc here in the Borders.
K is for kak, a word I learned during a trip to Johannesburg in 2014 and it means simply: "Shit". And let's face it, since my herd of goats arrived I'm shovelling plenty of it these days as they are being stabled during the winter before I let them loose to munch there way through scrubland and generally tidy up the fields. And when I'm not cleaning up after the goats the geese keep me fully occupied - on average each one poops 30 times a day. There's certainly plenty of shit around the farm.
L is for Laurasiatheria which is the scientific name for placental mammals originating from the northern supercontinent of Laurasia. It includes shrews, hedgehogs and bats which brings me on nicely (yes, I know a tad contrived) to bats and there's loads of the low-flying little fellas around here. I've not yet got that close up to any that I can identify with any degree of confidence.
M is for milk and hubby is hoping our pregnant nanny goats will be a great source to make butter and cheese from once they've had their kids in the spring. It seems the billy, Rolo, is quite the stud as all four of his nannies are now in the family way.
N is for noise and the chief reason why I invested in a dozen guinea fowl in the autumn of 2014. The little blighters maraud noisily around the farm and produce a frenzied feathered klaxon noise if something untoward comes in to their view ... ie the fox.
O is for Owl and I'm seriously considering either offering a home to a rescue owl or buying a baby barn owl (with certificate) to rear. There's something very calming about owls ... watch this space.
P is for peafowl and I'm really looking forward to seeing mine in full feather for 2015. I've two adult Indian peacocks King Ed and Albert, a pair of white peafowl Harry and Philomenia and four peahens so that Ed, Albert and Harry don't fall out. They're beautiful birds, very curious and on an evening they perch in the highest Scots Pine tree in the woods - very noisy but so enchanting.
Q is for Queen Bee and I'm hoping my ladies will survive the winter and continue to lead their honeybee colonies on to great things for 2015. They're all marked with a dot denoting the year of their birth and by my reckoning they should be firing on all six cylinders very soon.
R is for Return to the Ridings. The Borders are deeply entwined with the turbulent era of the Border Reivers who ruthlessly raided lands on either side of the Anglo-Scots border from the 13th to the 17 centuriues. I am determined to get a horse and join in the fun known as the Ridings. From Hawick, Selkirk, Jedburgh, Langholm and Lauder the festivities can carry on for two weeks and is part of the pageantry.
S is for Soho 2 Silo, this blog which is great fun to write as I share my (mis)adventures with you but to all of those who said I wouldn't last six weeks in the countryside after two decades in Soho, I think I've proved you wrong. Thanks to everyone who has given their feedback, please keep up your support, shared stories and nuggets of information - I need as much help as possible as many of you know.
T is for Tubby and while most of the animals keep in trim Bluebell rather disgraced herself. So much so towards the end of 2014 she had to go on a crash diet when she became too heavy to move. She was put on grass and water for a week until she was back on her feet again. Much to the annoyance of her two companions Jack and Vera they also had to share the same spartan diet.
U is for Ugly and I was a wee bit offended on behalf of my Guineau Fowl when a passerby said they were ugly birds! Of course I didn't buy the so-called 'Dirty Dozen' for their good looks but for their rowdy, hooligan-style behaviour and they've not let me down so far. They are probably the most unpopular birds with all the other animals because they make one hell of a racket, hunt in a group and attack anything that gets in their way - apart from Jack the Gander, of course.
They are super efficient as they go through the land hunting out bugs and slugs and will not stop for anything as they hunt in one large gang. What they might lack in looks they certainly make up for in energy and enthusiasm as they go about their business in their dark grey suits.
V is for Vets and the only animals that have needed medical attention so far are my indoor cats who require an annual flu injection and the occasional manicure! Although I am wondering if I should try and see if there's such a think as a Chicken Whisperer for my hens. They are still shook up after the fox invasion of their hen pen and it's now been a couple of months.
W is for White Doves and I've not had a good year with these little birds. The first lot succumbed to a nesting pair of Peregrine Falcons but undeterred I brought in another lot from a farm in Wolsingham. The latter escaped on the first day and flew back but undeterred I went and retrieved them holding them in an aviary for several weeks. Just the day before they were due for release a fox tunnelled under the frame and massacred all but one. The survivor, called Hope, now has five new mates - all fantails from Nottingham and they are pairing up just now.
X is often used to represent the unknown, if I remember my Algebra classes correctly and 2015 is a bit of an unknown for me. I'm not sure what new animals I will introduce this year - if any at all. Suggestions, as usual aew welcome.
Y is for Yawn and I know I've bored you all rigid with stories and dramas of the foxes that have plagued my stock in 2014, but I'm hoping that 2015 will bring in a totally new era in which the fox does not feature.
Z is for a rare breed of sheep called Zwartbles and I kept two for a few months last year. Regular readers of this column will known I'm not a big fan of sheep; they're subversive animals with two missions: To die or to run away. However he-who-should-be-obeyed-but-rarely-is has a taste for sheep, especially mutton and so I will not be too surprised if I see more of the woolly demons make an appearance in the pastures some time this year.
In the meantime, I wish you all the best for 2015 and hope you succeed in whatever you set out to do. Please keep the comments and suggestions coming. Have a great year.
 |
ANT & DEC: Best friends, soul mates and inseperable until
the fox intervened
|
B is for Billy Goat and Rolo is absolutely magnificent and not yet fully grown. He's a British Primitive Goat which was once known as the Old English/Scottish/Welsh/Irish, British Landrace or Old British Goat. The breed descends from the first farmers in the Neolithic period and was moved around by Celts, marauding Vikings and Saxons. These goats are almost predator proof and are largely used these days for Conservation Grazing and scrub clearance.
C is for cat and I've got two types of felines on the farm - three feral who go about their work unseen but have reduced the rat population to virtually nil and are unsung heros and three pampered indoor cats who have eradicated - it seems - the mice population.
D is for dog and I've not yet got one because I'm in a bit of a dilemma at what breed to choose. Should I get a dog(s) it will defintely be an outdoors animal designed purely to ward off or attack foxes otherwise security is left to the geese who already do a cracking job. The problem is I can't have a dog(s) that might stray off into neighbouring farmland and end up being shot on sight by farmers who need to protect their sheep and lambs. Any advice please let me know.
E is for eggs and they're in very short supply at the moment, partly because it's winter and partly because my remaining five hens are still in a state of shock after more than 20 of their companions were slaughtered by a couple of foxes who broke in to their compound.
 |
ROLO: British Primitive Goat & expectant
father of four in the Spring
|
 |
JACK, master of all he surveys ... he's owned
the postman several times too!
|
H are for hens and 2014 was a rollercoaster year for my rare breed Scots Dumpys. Having assembled some beautiful specimens from the Isle of Wight, Northampton, Cheshire, Manchester and Biggar a successful breeding programme got underway headed by cockerels Horatio and Napoleon. Their fame spread far and wide and they were used foir farmyard scenes in an American hit TV series focussing on 17th century Scotland called Outlander. Tragedy struck a few months back when atleast two foxes tunneled their way into the hen compound killing most of the occupants. Horatio survived but lost his cock-a-doodle-do and most of his neck feathers while the last four surviving females have not laid an egg for two months now.
 |
HORATIO: In the good old days when
he could cock-a-doodle-do
|
I is for Insecta, the scientific classification for the common honeybee and at the moment I'm the proud owner of six colonies. While 2013 provided a bumper crop, last year was rather disappointing in honey terms but I'm hopeful this year the bees will really start doing the business ... if they survive the weather. One colony has already been destroyed thanks to 100mph gales which blew over the hive and scattered the occupants inside.
J is for the Jed Forest Hunt. In 2013 I told them to steer clear of my land but the following year went cap in hand and asked them for help with my fox problem. In the last year they and their supporters have reported 49 dead foxes ... and they still keep on coming. Who said country foxes are heading for the cities - the blighters continue to wreak havoc here in the Borders.
 |
THUMBERLINA remain the
only white Scots Dumpy in the pen |
 |
HANGING around waiting for
night fall; one of the bats
|
M is for milk and hubby is hoping our pregnant nanny goats will be a great source to make butter and cheese from once they've had their kids in the spring. It seems the billy, Rolo, is quite the stud as all four of his nannies are now in the family way.
N is for noise and the chief reason why I invested in a dozen guinea fowl in the autumn of 2014. The little blighters maraud noisily around the farm and produce a frenzied feathered klaxon noise if something untoward comes in to their view ... ie the fox.
O is for Owl and I'm seriously considering either offering a home to a rescue owl or buying a baby barn owl (with certificate) to rear. There's something very calming about owls ... watch this space.
 |
| ALBERT shows off his plumage in preparation for Spring '15 |
Q is for Queen Bee and I'm hoping my ladies will survive the winter and continue to lead their honeybee colonies on to great things for 2015. They're all marked with a dot denoting the year of their birth and by my reckoning they should be firing on all six cylinders very soon.
 |
| RESOLUTION for 2015: To take part in the Return to the Ridings |
 |
TUBBY Bluebell became so obese
she couldn't stand on her feet!
|
T is for Tubby and while most of the animals keep in trim Bluebell rather disgraced herself. So much so towards the end of 2014 she had to go on a crash diet when she became too heavy to move. She was put on grass and water for a week until she was back on her feet again. Much to the annoyance of her two companions Jack and Vera they also had to share the same spartan diet.
 |
| UGLY? No way but noisy yes; one of the Dirty Dozen. |
They are super efficient as they go through the land hunting out bugs and slugs and will not stop for anything as they hunt in one large gang. What they might lack in looks they certainly make up for in energy and enthusiasm as they go about their business in their dark grey suits.
V is for Vets and the only animals that have needed medical attention so far are my indoor cats who require an annual flu injection and the occasional manicure! Although I am wondering if I should try and see if there's such a think as a Chicken Whisperer for my hens. They are still shook up after the fox invasion of their hen pen and it's now been a couple of months.
W is for White Doves and I've not had a good year with these little birds. The first lot succumbed to a nesting pair of Peregrine Falcons but undeterred I brought in another lot from a farm in Wolsingham. The latter escaped on the first day and flew back but undeterred I went and retrieved them holding them in an aviary for several weeks. Just the day before they were due for release a fox tunnelled under the frame and massacred all but one. The survivor, called Hope, now has five new mates - all fantails from Nottingham and they are pairing up just now.
 |
LAST WORD: But not in 2015. I'm
determined the year of the fox is over |
X is often used to represent the unknown, if I remember my Algebra classes correctly and 2015 is a bit of an unknown for me. I'm not sure what new animals I will introduce this year - if any at all. Suggestions, as usual aew welcome.
 |
PLOTTING an escape or planning a suicide - with sheep like
these two Zwartbles you just never know.
|
Y is for Yawn and I know I've bored you all rigid with stories and dramas of the foxes that have plagued my stock in 2014, but I'm hoping that 2015 will bring in a totally new era in which the fox does not feature.
Z is for a rare breed of sheep called Zwartbles and I kept two for a few months last year. Regular readers of this column will known I'm not a big fan of sheep; they're subversive animals with two missions: To die or to run away. However he-who-should-be-obeyed-but-rarely-is has a taste for sheep, especially mutton and so I will not be too surprised if I see more of the woolly demons make an appearance in the pastures some time this year.
In the meantime, I wish you all the best for 2015 and hope you succeed in whatever you set out to do. Please keep the comments and suggestions coming. Have a great year.
Bravo!
ReplyDeleteI wish you had the time to write more entries here. I look forward to the new posts.