CELEBRITY CHICKENS

.. And the usual tantrums from the turkeys

 AFTER A great deal of thought I produced a line up of Scots Dumpys who will feature in a new TV series based in 17th century Britain ... their star quality was picked up by a company which specialises in sourcing and locating creatures for big TV and film productions and, as an endangered species, there's not many Scots Dumpys around these days.

Here is the final line up of chickens who will make their acting debut headed by Horatio who, as you can see, has all his tail feathers and looks quite the part. Poor old Napoleon, the alpha male in the hen pen is in the middle of moulting and would look more suited to a Hammer House of Horror movie than some bodice-ripping costume drama.
 I carried out the auditions on the front lawn and the hens really seemed to enjoy themselves as they out pecked and out performed each other for the parts of 17th century poultry. I just hope there's no nerves tomorrow when it really will be lights, camera, action!

 Afterwards I should be able to tell you more about the TV series, who is making it, what it's called and who is starring in it. I'm really excited since I've never worked on a movie set before. Naturally a full report will follow in a few days time.

However not everyone in the farm is pleased as you can see above - poor Ant and Dec turned up for the audition looking absolutely magnificent but the truth is Bourbon Red turkeys didn't emerge until the 19th century and even then only in America in Kentucky, Pennslyvania. I wonder if I could get them a part in Downton Abbey?

SPUR OF THE MOMENT

..Or Napoleon takes my bones apart!

  ONE of my animals has attacked me and I am in a state of shock. Not because of the viciousness and unrelenting nature of the assault but because of the perpetrator.
 I half expected in an unguarded moment I might be rammed or butted by one of the sheep, or that Jack the gander might suddenly turn on me now that he has managed to scare off everyone else who comes within his eye line. I even thought Ant or Dec, or both, could one day launch an assault on me when I least expected it because turkeys are unpredictable creatures.
 But never for one moment did I expect Napoleon to turn on me, but turn he did using his razor sharp spurs with the deftness and skill of a Samurai swordsman. My left hand now looks like something on a butcher's chopping board as you can see from the series of picture below.

TAKE THAT - palm

AND THAT - below small
finger

AND THAT - thumb

 It all began when I noticed Edwina, one of the cuckoo-coloured Scots Dumpys had developed a limp and as I moved closer I could see she had a clip of some sort attached to her leg which needed to be removed as she was obviously in mild distress. I merely bent down to scoop her up and Napoleon emitted a weird screech and charged straight at me.
 Knocking Edwina out of my hands he then set about in three quick moves to slash and stab my skin using both spurs as he drop kicked me Kung Fu-style. It was like a scene from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and it really hurt causing me to emit a large, ungodly howl followed by several expletives I thought I'd long forgotten.

 The good news is I removed the plastic clip causing Edwina the pain but the bad news is my left hand has swollen and two of my fingers can barely bend. I ran the wound under a running tap and wiped it with an antiseptic cream but it is very painful. I reflected on what had happened because you can't take these things personally ... or I'd be having roast chicken for dinner tonight!
 But, as Alpha male in the hen pen, Napoleon was not being predatory but simply over protective towards Edwina who was already in some distress when I went to do my Good Samaritan act.
 In future I will always keep an eye out for Napoleon as well as the two other cockerels Jumpin' Jack and Horatio before stepping in to the hen pen and I'll try to remember to wear a pair of leather gloves.
 I usually wander around with a large stick but I put it down as I knelt to pick up Edwina.

 And I guess I will always remember the relationship I have with my animals ... we're not friends as much as I would like to be. I'm simply the person who comes around with the food and tries to look after their welfare. It is quite obvious after what happened today that only one individual can rule the roost and that is Napoleon who, I've noticed, is imposing his will more and more on the rest of the hens. If there's an outbreak of bullying he wades straight in and stops potential flare ups and he's always there to keep the other two cockerels in check. He's also taken to growling while prowling as the video clip shows.
 If something similar has happened to you, or if I'm handling this the wrong way, please give me your feedback.

MISS MOODY IN ACTION

.. Or broody hen puts the Dump in Scots Dumpy

 TODAY Josephine went for her early morning constitutional in the hen pen before resuming sitting duties on the clutch of eggs she has been caring for since she went broody.
 It is important to make sure broody hens get a break, stretch their legs and have something to eat and drink. Long term damage or even death can happen if a broody hen refuses to leave her post and so, with Josephine, I lift her off the nest every morning and take her to the food station.
 A good friend of mine warned that I should keep a special look out for her should any of the roosters try to mate as a refusal often leads to forceful confrontations.
 Regulars to this blog already know Josephine has the shortest fuse in the pen so when Miss Moody went broody everyone gave her a wide berth ... until today. And this is what happened when Horatio made a half-hearted pass. (Click on 10-second video above)

MISS MOODY GOES BROODY

HEN HOUSE: Now a hot house

for broody Josephine

.. But Josephine still rules the roost

 OF ALL my feathered stock I would say the most anti-social is Josephine. She's a gorgeous looking black Scots Dumpy I bought in Northampton along with my rather spectacular cockerel Napoleon in September last year.
 Dumpys are normally cuddly, social chooks with wonderful characters which is why Josephine's moody temperament stands out in the hen pen where, in terms of pecking order, she commands pole position.
 Basically no one challenges Josephine and the only other Dumpy to interact with her is Napoleon; the two are normally inseparable and always sleep in the same hen house (there are four abodes from which to choose) with him perching and her nesting in a corner.

HORATIO & MOODY JOSEPHINE: Used to
be inseparable

 Well something very interesting happened yesterday - she occupied the smallest, tallest hen house and refused to budge. It's a favourite laying spot for the rest of the hens who were becoming increasingly vocal at not being able to get access to lay their eggs. He-who-should-be-obeyed-but-rarely-is stuck his hand in to engage with her and is still nursing his right fore finger for the trouble ... proving that he is hen-pecked but not by me!

 Being more wary I lifted up the hatch and took a quick peek - she expanded her body by fluffing her feathers and made a really odd, throaty gurgling sound which sent me running for the poultry books. Having lost one hen to egg peritonitus I wanted to make sure she wasn't going down with something equally terminal. Mercifully Josephine is not ill but her hormones are rampaging ... more so than usual. According to the experts and my chicken manual she is displaying all the symptoms of a broody hen for this time of year.

 Now incase you didn't know, a broody hen is worth her weight in gold for a small holder like me but for professionals it's a nuisance and some simply dip their hormonal hens in a bucket of ice cold water in an attempt to cool down the poor creature and knock her off her cycle. I think that's rather cruel but I'm merely an amateur so will move on swiftly lest someone should accuse me of trying to teach hen veterans how to suck eggs.

EVICTED: Beryl & Ruby

 I returned to Josephine and gently picked her up - and what a surprise I got. Not only was her breast and abdomen hotter than Hades she was sitting on at least a dozen eggs. She must have simply hijacked a full nest, knocked out some of her own and has commandeered it for sole occupancy.
 Horatio is non too happy as he always slept there while Ruby and Beryl were regular occupants on the very high overhead perch. Now they've all had to find alternative accommodation until Josephine completes her broody cycle.
 Hens' eggs take around 21 days to hatch so it will be interesting to see if she stays the course. I'm also wondering, with some concern, if she will make a good mother given her mood swings when she's not broody.
 * Meanwhile the surrogate turkey mum is still sitting on a pile of eggs, including those belonging to the Bourbon Red who was snatched by a fox last week. She also makes the same throaty, gurgling sound if you get too near ... hope it's not catching!