SILO SNIPPET

NEW ARRIVALS always cheer me up and this pair are no exception. They're fluffy, yellow and look cute as far as I can see but their mum is not letting me anywhere near her newly hatched doves at the moment. As soon as I can sneak a picture I will so we can all share in her pride and joy.

HACKED OFF BY CHAINSAW

.. It's just not cutting edge

 THE other day a certificate and skills identity card came through the post reminding me I am now proficient in the art of chainsaw maintenance and cross-cutting following a two-day course in the Borders.
 Receiving an award should fill one with pride but in truth, I'd forgotten all about my course; it was an unpleasant experience which I'd pushed to the back of my memory for several reasons and I doubt if I'll exhibit this newly acquired skill on my CV nor pick up a chainsaw again.

EMINEM sporting a chainsaw like mine ... the similarity

ends there

They are, without doubt (in my humble opinion) the most badly designed piece of kit I've ever come across and personally I believe that they should not be sold to anyone over the counter who has never worked with one before just in the same way as you'd never sell a gun to anyone without a proper licence.

 My first day was spent dismantling my brand new chainsaw made by some Scandanavian company and popularised by the US rap star Eminem, pictured left.

The last time I was taught to dismantle and reassemble anything as lethal was a machine gun, but that's another story for another time.

We were then taught by our instructor how to sharpen the said saw using a large file and some square nut device. Each tooth of the saw had to be sharpened individually and since my blade was particularly long try to imagine giving a dental flossing to a crocodile. As a left hander I always find these sort of tasks difficult since manufacturers rarely think about us southpaws. I told my instructor I had a self-sharpening electric breadknife at home and couldn't understand why some bright chap had not invented a self sharpening chainsaw. His facial expression was a picture.

 Then I learned that the fuel that goes in to a chainsaw is a concoction of two liquids. Why? Wouldn't it make more sense to sell the final solution in one bottle or make a fuel that didn't have to be combined with another? Just asking..

PROOF: Chainsaw certificate

 In addition, although hubby had bought me a top-of-the-range chainsaw, there was no starter button on the damn thing either and although I wanted to pull the starter cord in a standing position, I was told the ONLY way was to put the machine on the ground and, knees kept straight while holding steady with right hand to pull the throttle/cord/whatever/thingy with the left.

 This is fine if you have the spine of Soviet gymnast Olga Korbut and the biceps of Charles Atlas, but I have neither and all my natural instincts told me to either kneel down or put the damn thing on a waist height table and pull the bloody string.

 "You can't," said my instructor. I asked why not and he replied: "Because you can't." Again I asked for a reason and was told: "Because you can't, there's only one way; there's only ever been one way." I did want to continue my line of questioning but felt to do so would have created an even more unpleasant atmosphere and further alienated me from my fellow students (all blokes from farming backgrounds) who seemed to have well bonded with their own chainsaws.

SUITED & BOOTED: Safety clothes like these are essential

 The next day before we were actually set loose with our kit we had to wear protective clothing which was inspected and cleared by the course instructor. The cost of such clothes plus hard hat will set you back a couple of hundred quid and we were left in no doubt that if any of ours did not meet the required safety standard we would not be allowed near a chainsaw.

 Once we set about sawing stuff I could see why. These saws are absolutely lethal and one twist or turn the wrong way could cause serious injury or worse. I don't mind admitting here that I was terrified by the blade, the noise and losing a limb - and that was before I got near any wood.

 Cross cutting is back-breaking work and I now look at lumber jack types and forestry workers with much more respect.

 A friend from Texas was greatly amused by the fact I'd enrolled on this two-day course; Texas is synonymous with the 1974 slasher film about a murderous maniac armed with a chainsaw. Neither he or anyone else in Texas goes on a safety course, apparently.

 Which brings me back to my concerns that any nutter can go in to a shop and buy a chainsaw without proper training, the correct clothing and hard hat.

 In the meantime hubby says he is still waiting for a return on his investment and keeps pointing to a fallen tree which he wants me to reduce to small logs for the fire. So far I've resisted and suggested he call Slim Shady!

NEW ARRIVALS

..Cause a flutter with more new arrivals!

DES RES: Home sweet home

for the new doves

 DESPITE a pair of Peregrines taking out three of my four Indian fantails, I decided to buy some more birds since the falcons should be heading off for sunnier climes as part of their annual migration.
 And the recent arrival half a dozen more beautiful white doves really cheered up the lone fantail who will hopefully pass on his rapidly acquired 'avoid and detection' skills to the newbies making them falcon-aware before Spring is sprung.
 They're all still very young and more than happy to hang around the house although they don't seem to have taken to the dovecot lovingly painted and erected by hubby a few months back.

SITTING PRETTY: This dove has just

laid two eggs

 Instead, the newbies are attracted to a beautifully crafted dovecot recently bought as a gift by my mother.

The trouble is it is pretty much lying where she left it and now the backyard resembles a builder's emporium as we have proceeded with long-awaited house renovations.

 He-who-should-be-obeyed-but-rarely-is has been dragging his heels over installing the new dovecot and now one of the doves has made a nest and laid two eggs. 

This makes any installation difficult until they hatch ... that's his excuse anyway although it will not wash with my octogenarian mum, as he will soon find out. Watch this space for a future article on Algerian men and their English mother-in-laws!

KILLER QUAIL

..Or mystery drama as small bird turns psycho

 ONE of our quail has turned psycho and started attacking the remaining hen quail for no apparent reason. I've now had to seperate the two as I fear he will really kill her next time they're put together.
 And while I know very little about the habits of quail, this is more than just rough and tumble in the straw or some sort of elaborate mating ceremony. He really wants to kill his partner and she has a terrible head wound to prove it as you can see on the picture immediately below left. That dark patch is her head wound!

BATTERED quail: In recovery

and clearly unhappy

BRUISER: Male quail 

silent and violent

 They've lived quite happily together for some months now but all hell broke loose just a few days ago and several attempts to reunite the pair has ended in disaster with more fighting.
 And they don't seem that happy apart either; she has stopped laying eggs and he just spends most of his time sulking in the corner of their cage. While they clearly can't live together they appear to be quite miserable on their own as well. The only new factor in their lives in recent days is I've changed the bedding from wood shavings to straw. Their diet is mixed corn and a fat ball to peck.
 He-who-should-be-obeyed-but-rarely-is has come up with the usual response when there's trouble with the livestock: "Why don't we just eat it?"
 If you know much about quail please contribute to this blog and share your knowledge because I'm at a complete loss as are my hen and turkey friends. I've checked several quail-related websites but other than warring, rival male birds I've been unable to find any reason why my little quail has turned into a killer.

COLONY ONE DOWN

.. Bees lose out to wasp invasion

 HIVE NUMBER ONE has always had a troubled history but the final chapter was sadly written today when I made what turned out to be my last inspection.
 Compared to the other hives, there was no sign of life when I approached it and my worst suspicions were confirmed when I looked inside ... the struggling colony was no more and all of the bees were dead.

HAPPY DAYS: The pioneers from Colony Number One in July

just after they arrived after being captured in a swarm in Ayr

 The only sign of activity came from a few wasps which have tormented the hive on a daily basis in recent weeks, plundering it for its honey.
 Regulars will remember that this hive produced my first ever colony which originated from a swarm of bees in Ayrshire. Then we had the dilemma of trying to find the queen and once we'd found her she did something bees never do, or aren't supposed to do, she led another swarm.
 Within weeks the thriving little colony was much reduced in size and despite a successful attempt to introduce a new queen the worker bees never fully recovered. If only we'd had a few more weeks of sunshine I think they might have overcome their difficulties.
 We closed the entrance down to such a narrow opening that only one bee at a time could gain access and this made it difficult for wasps to enter the hive and raid the honey supplies.

A BEE'S eye view of a wasp courtesy of 

http://www.microscopy-uk.org.uk/

The wasps though were unrelenting in their mission, and with the ability to sting many times, any worker bee which confronted them didn't last long.
 Having virtually sealed off the entrance to the hive I then put out a jam jar trap which caught a few wasps but not enough to stop the onslaught of raids from sunrise to sunset. At one point I spent more than two hours with a fly swat trying to repel the wasps but 20 dead ones later they were still coming in droves.
 Last week I even put in an extra frame a sealed brood from another hive in the hope this would give the colony a chance to expand more quickly and repel the black and yellow invaders.
 Today I intended to add a sugar-syrup-based feeder to supplement their food gathering, but it was too little too late. The hive was empty of honey and most of the colony lay lifeless across five frames, some buried inside the honeycomb as if to extract the last bit of food they could find.

JAMMY DODGERS: Despite 
narrowing the hive entrance
& planting jam jar trap, the wasp
still succeeded

 It was a terrible, pitiful sight and now I feel wracked with guilt wondering what more I could've done. I'm constantly told less is more in the beekeeping world so, having poked around the hive last week adding a natural-based Varroa mite treatment, I decided to wait a full week before adding the feeder.

 I've been told wasps can strip a hive bare very quickly but seven days ago Hive Number One seemed to be turning a corner at last.

 My mentor Alex assured me nothing could've been done and he was quite shocked by the rapid deterioration of the colony as well.

 I guess I am now going to have to make daily trips to the apiary and observe the comings and goings of the remaining four hives through the winter. All, apart from the Warre, have feeders inserted containing the sugar-based feed and I will do the Warre tomorrow.

THE PRICE OF FREEDOM

..Sly fox strikes again

 TWO of my favourite hens have disappeared - Josephine seen below in the video just five days after she hatched her chicks and Beryl, another black Scots Dumpy.
 Both of them were stunning specimens and now they are no more.
 I can only assume they were nabbed on consecutive days by a fox as there was a mature cub seen stalking around in the afternoon on the day Josephine went missing, according to a neighbour.
 In many ways I blame myself and once again I am
 in direct conflict with the need for security and
 the birds' need for freedom.
 The residents in the compound loved to go out for a morning stroll and rut around the place, with the stragglers usually making their way back by around 4pm which is well ahead of dusk when the creatures of the night, like foxes, usually emerge.
 While the hen pen is about the size of a netball court and there's plenty of room for everyone, I've now taken to keeping it locked up.
 I really have no idea how organic farmers operate without losing their stock, but I just can't see the sense in losing more of my feathered friends.
 Josephine, who I bought along with the cockerel Napoleon, from a place in Northampton in September 2012, had a special place in my heart. She was the first to go all broody a few months back and started sitting on a bunch of eggs successfully hatching six chicks.
 They made a wonderful sight as they foraged around during the early summer months and were a tight little group until a couple of weeks ago when she pushed them into venturing out without her close supervision. The Young Ones seem oblivious to the absence of their mother but Napoleon appears to have changed in temperament and seems less ebullient.

TOGETHER ... but not forever. 

Napoleon and Josephine

 The trouble with Josephine is that she was a bit of a loner and probably, after spending the last few months sitting, hatching and rearing chicks she was enjoying her own space. I keep hoping she will re-appear but deep down I know that is unlikely.

 And Beryl, who was extremely aggressive and not disimilar in temperament to Josephine,  disappeared 24 hours later.  I bought Beryl, along with her soul mate Ruby,  at a farm on the edge of Saddleworth Moors near Manchester. Both of them  were wonderful examples of their rare breed species but now Ruby is alone and I can tell she misses her best friend.

There is a sadness hanging over the hen pen at the moment which is largely caused by the fact the happy wanderers are now confined to quarters and are limited to what they can get up to within the pen.

 Egg production is down slightly which could be due to this change or possibly the weather as the days are much shorter and there's a chilly, autumnal feel about the place. if any of you have advice on how I can bring some cheer back please let me know.

 As for the young fox, well he's not been seen for a few days now but I shan't feel sad at all if any of the local gamekeepers catch him in their sights.