WASPISH DILEMMA

..Fearless hero needed

A WORK OF ART: But a deadly discovery which must be 

destroyed

MY HUSBAND is a smoker and I'm not. When he sets off to inspect the apiary I keep expecting someone to call the fire brigade because there's always thick plumes of smoke. He leaves more of a vapour trail in his wake than the Red Arrows! But I guess it would be churlish not to admit he seems to avoid getting stung ... unlike me, but I'd rather work with our bees than envelope them in a cloud of smoke before nicking their honey. Anyway, the good news is I have a special job for him-who-should-be-obeyed-but-rarely-is and his smoker as a massive wasps nest the size of a World Cup football has recently been discovered. When I first heard a loud buzz emanating from the trees I was full of glee imagining I'd stumbled across a huge swarm of honeybees waiting to be collected and given a new home in our apiary. However, once the buzz was located I beat a hasty retreat because it turned out to be a wasps' nest and unlike honey bees, those wasps get riled and deadly just for the fun of it. They can also attack and sting as many times as they want until flattened.

Hubby has gone away for a few days but on his return I shall hand him his smoker, a pair of ladders and he shall be pressed into active service and directed towards the offending nest as he (hopefully) finds the hero inside himself to seek and destroy. Quite how he will get rid of it is anyone's guess but I'm fearful for the old Yew tree which is holding the rather spectacular silver nest made from a mix of wood and the saliva of the Queen wasp. The whole effect is rather dramatic and it looks like an elaborate papier mâché ball. In some ways I'd like to leave it until winter and then get it dismantled and have it as a piece of art but it is hanging near the kitchen and explains the large volume of wasps there every day.

 Without doubt the nest is a thing of beauty and it is amazing to think it would've started off barely the size of a plum. I shall, of course, up date you on the saga (and there will be one, for sure) of its removal but if you have any pearls of wisdom to share before hubby is sent in to do battle, then please do let me know.
 Oh, and if you're wondering about the background noise on the video that is Mr and Mrs Bumbles kicking off ... my Guineau Fowl

SILO SNIPPET

 ONE of my white peahens has been missing for nearly a week now and I fear the worse after a neighbouring farmer reported seeing a particularly fat fox in the area a few days ago ... pass the shotgun, please.

CAMPING OUT UNDER THE STARS

 ... But still cuddling in to mummy

 THE WEATHER has been absolutely glorious these last few days prompting some of the hens to opt for a night out rather than sleeping indoors.

UNDER THE WING: These three chicks have a night out and

a cuddle from their protective mother hen

 Just as the sun was setting I caught this caring mummy cuddling in to her three chicks as they created their own perch on the hen house roof.
 She's virtually sitting on one while giving a wing each to the other two.
 She hatched her trio of Scots Dumpys about two months ago; a couple are Cuckoo, just like her, and the other (under the left wing on the far right of the picture) is black. They're too young for me to identify their gender but I hope they're all hens as it took ages to sell my surplus cockerels.
 In the meantime, elsewhere in the hen pen,
there's some weird shenanighans going down with two of the adult black Dumpys.

MOTHERS-IN-WAITING: while 

Horatio, one of the cockerels

looks on at the back.

 Both appear to have gone broody at the same time and are sort of job sharing sitting on the nest waiting for the eggs to hatch - it takes around 21 days. Their shifts continually merge but the two seem quite happy with each other's company in the single egg box, but how they'll cope when the chicks start to hatch is anyone's guess. I'm not sure what the little ones are going to make of it either ... I mean how will they tell who is their mummy and how will the job share work out then? I'm sure Nature has all the answers but until then we'll all have to play the waiting game.
 And, of course, I've learned not to count my chickens - all the little white chicks that hatched late Spring failed to survive beyond 24 hours. So I'm still without white chicks although the Cuckoos and blacks appear to be thriving.
 As usual, if you have any advice, solutions or observations drop me a line.

EGGS WELL VERSED

EGGSTATIC: The neighbours are benefitting

from this deluge of fresh produce  

.. Or how a Qur'anic recital increased egg production

I'M SURE there could be a logical explanation but the truth is my hens have been knocking out eggs like there's no tomorrow since they heard a Qur'anic recital.
 Now some of you will no doubt be scoffing at this, but I can only present you with the facts as they happened and you can make your own judgment.
 One of the workmen was digging a trench near the hen pen recently and like all workmen he needed some background noise to help ease his labours.
 Most workmen and builders drive people insane with their tinny, half tuned radios belting out static along with the latest numbers in the world of pop. However this one, being a Muslim, decided to play a CD recording of verses from Surah Al-Baqarah to inspire and encourage his efforts and I must admit as the crystal clear tones filled the air it certainly had a spiritual effect on anyone in hearing distance.

LAY IT AGAIN, SAM : And there's more 

to come judging from this hen's expression

 Not only did it help him to finish the job in double quick time and impress the local council inspectors but the next day there was an abundance of eggs to collect from my Scots Dumpys.
 They are a rare breed hen designated an endangered species such is their plight and I reckon they've reached this state because of their low productivity in the egg department.

CAN YOU HEAR SOMETHING?

 So imagine my surprise when I was greeted with a batch of eggs the following day which worked out at one egg per chick in the hen pen plus a couple more! In addition, most of the eggs have morphed from rather modest little affairs to large! He-who-should-be-obeyed-but-rarely-is reckons it's all down to the power of prayer and while I'm a little sceptical when it comes to 21st century miracles, I've been bowled over by the surfeit of eggs which has been in evidence ever since.

NAPOLEON THINKS HE RULES THE ROOST:  But is
there's a greater force at play in the hen pen?

 Even the beligerent Napoleon seems a lot calmer these days as he swaggers around the hen pen.
 Please tell me if something similar has happened to your livestock or share your secrets to productivity.
 Maybe I should be installing internal speakers into the turkey block and the apiary ... hubby was stung four times yesterday as we introduced a new colony on Welsh Black Bees. Maybe a few verses from Surah Al-Baqara might be just what they need.
 Most Muslims will not be surprised by reading this as Surah Al-Baqarah is recited by those moving in to a new home and many recite it in their house every three days to repel dark forces. In fact the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, once said: "Whoever recites the last two verses of Surah Al-Baqarah at night, those two verses will be sufficient for him."
 All I would say to cynics is don't knock it 'til you've tried it ... you might be laughing now but not as much as me when I make my daily collection. Now who wants eggs for breakfast?