.. Or the last post?
I BET Postman Pat never faced the challenges thrown at the heroic staff who run a first class delivery service in the Scottish Borders.
As you can see the picture on the right reveals a sorry tale of several failed attempts to deliver my letters because of the antics of Jack the Gander and some turbulent turkeys!
The regular Royal Mail male has learned to work around the birds delivering letters by stealth but when he took a week off I don't think his stand-in was prepared for the daily onslaught.
Unlike most couriers who are ambushed after leaving their vehicles, it seems my turkeys and the geese launched a full frontal offensive before the new postie even had a chance to step out the mail van. Quite wisely the occupant decided to return the next day and then the next day ... and as you can see from the labels on the envelope it became a daily mission impossible.
Some couriers are not as conscientious as the employees of the Royal Mail and I've found parcels flung in various bushes and corners while the deliverer beats a hasty retreat from badass Jack and the rest of the bird crew. Suddenly the need to obtain a signature loses its importance in the face of a hostile Bourbon Red.
While most of the UK's long-suffering posties have to contend with canine capers anyone heading down my drive way can expect an encounter of a different kind.
Apart from the fact it's the mating season and the ganders and turkey stags are unusually aggressive there's also a great deal of tension in the air because any day now we're expecting the geese and turkey eggs to hatch. As most expectant mums can vouch, tempers do get frayed towards the end and female mammals are not the only ones affected by last minute nerves.
Now I have some good news and some bad news for the postal staff in this district - the good news is once Spring is sprung we can all resume a normal service. The bad news is if all eggs hatch then we could see an additional 20 geese and up to 15 turkeys roaming freely.
* By the way, did I mention that I'm off on another training course this weekend ... for would-be bee keepers? I wonder how our delivery folk feel about winged honey-gatherers?
 |
| POSTIE'S DILEMMA: Geese & turkeys cause
a kerfuffle with the Royal Mail
|
As you can see the picture on the right reveals a sorry tale of several failed attempts to deliver my letters because of the antics of Jack the Gander and some turbulent turkeys!
The regular Royal Mail male has learned to work around the birds delivering letters by stealth but when he took a week off I don't think his stand-in was prepared for the daily onslaught.
Unlike most couriers who are ambushed after leaving their vehicles, it seems my turkeys and the geese launched a full frontal offensive before the new postie even had a chance to step out the mail van. Quite wisely the occupant decided to return the next day and then the next day ... and as you can see from the labels on the envelope it became a daily mission impossible.
Some couriers are not as conscientious as the employees of the Royal Mail and I've found parcels flung in various bushes and corners while the deliverer beats a hasty retreat from badass Jack and the rest of the bird crew. Suddenly the need to obtain a signature loses its importance in the face of a hostile Bourbon Red.
While most of the UK's long-suffering posties have to contend with canine capers anyone heading down my drive way can expect an encounter of a different kind.
Apart from the fact it's the mating season and the ganders and turkey stags are unusually aggressive there's also a great deal of tension in the air because any day now we're expecting the geese and turkey eggs to hatch. As most expectant mums can vouch, tempers do get frayed towards the end and female mammals are not the only ones affected by last minute nerves.
Now I have some good news and some bad news for the postal staff in this district - the good news is once Spring is sprung we can all resume a normal service. The bad news is if all eggs hatch then we could see an additional 20 geese and up to 15 turkeys roaming freely.
* By the way, did I mention that I'm off on another training course this weekend ... for would-be bee keepers? I wonder how our delivery folk feel about winged honey-gatherers?
Here's a video but doubt if a UK postman would appreciate you making one..
ReplyDeletehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/28/turkey-attacks-postal-ser_n_815354.html
If I was the postman, you would find something like that written on the post "Goose + Turkeys, I have heard they both are halal"......
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