WASPISH DILEMMA

..Fearless hero needed

A WORK OF ART: But a deadly discovery which must be 

destroyed

MY HUSBAND is a smoker and I'm not. When he sets off to inspect the apiary I keep expecting someone to call the fire brigade because there's always thick plumes of smoke. He leaves more of a vapour trail in his wake than the Red Arrows! But I guess it would be churlish not to admit he seems to avoid getting stung ... unlike me, but I'd rather work with our bees than envelope them in a cloud of smoke before nicking their honey. Anyway, the good news is I have a special job for him-who-should-be-obeyed-but-rarely-is and his smoker as a massive wasps nest the size of a World Cup football has recently been discovered. When I first heard a loud buzz emanating from the trees I was full of glee imagining I'd stumbled across a huge swarm of honeybees waiting to be collected and given a new home in our apiary. However, once the buzz was located I beat a hasty retreat because it turned out to be a wasps' nest and unlike honey bees, those wasps get riled and deadly just for the fun of it. They can also attack and sting as many times as they want until flattened.

Hubby has gone away for a few days but on his return I shall hand him his smoker, a pair of ladders and he shall be pressed into active service and directed towards the offending nest as he (hopefully) finds the hero inside himself to seek and destroy. Quite how he will get rid of it is anyone's guess but I'm fearful for the old Yew tree which is holding the rather spectacular silver nest made from a mix of wood and the saliva of the Queen wasp. The whole effect is rather dramatic and it looks like an elaborate papier mâché ball. In some ways I'd like to leave it until winter and then get it dismantled and have it as a piece of art but it is hanging near the kitchen and explains the large volume of wasps there every day.

 Without doubt the nest is a thing of beauty and it is amazing to think it would've started off barely the size of a plum. I shall, of course, up date you on the saga (and there will be one, for sure) of its removal but if you have any pearls of wisdom to share before hubby is sent in to do battle, then please do let me know.
 Oh, and if you're wondering about the background noise on the video that is Mr and Mrs Bumbles kicking off ... my Guineau Fowl