ANARCHY IN THE APIARY

..Or what happens when chaos is introduced into the bee world

JUST recently hubby and I went to Lincoln to pick up three beehives after their keeper was forced to sell following a life-threatening encounter with the occupants.

TROUBLE at large in little white hive

second from the right

 He was literally nearly stung to death after accidentally knocking over a couple of the hives and hasn't been near them since. So quite what to expect on making our first inspection of our new acquisition when we got back to the Borders was anyone's guess.  Thankfully my mentor, Alex Turnbull, a beekeeper of 35 years experience, came along with his kit and we set about inspecting all three hives. We went through the National hives with relative ease until we tried to lift off the lid of the smallest. We actually thought it would be a doddle since the outward signs showed lots of healthy activity and there was just a brood box to check. But come hell and high water, we simply could not remove the top despite trying to chisel away from inside the lip of the lid.

 As you can imagine the bees were starting to get a tad irritated and I reminded Alex that the last person to take a peek inside this hive had ended up in Accident and Emergency, but he seemed undeterred. 

 Hubby arrived on the scene just in time and he stepped up to the plate to deploy some Algerian brute force. We held our breath and winced as he huffed, puffed and eventually using a twisting, lifting movement prised off the top ... by this time he was engulfed in a mini tornado of bees but they didn't seem in a mood to sting happily for him. Bearing in mind a bee will die after using its sting, you really have to rile them to invoke an attack so while they seemed angry, they appeared to be all bluff, buzz and bravado. As he slowly began to lift the lid, which he said felt unusually heavy, Alex and I both shouted in tandem: "STOP!"

CHAOS as bees go freestyle without frames to guide them

 So there he was, frozen like a statue being buzzed by a considerable amount of bees, as Alex pondered what to do. He shook his head in dismay and muttered several different scenarios saying how bad this all was. Hubby, who has the patience of a water gnat, began to purse his lips, fidget and perspire. Eventually Alex sighed and declared: "This is chaos, complete chaos. Slowly put the lid back down." We all congregated in a huddle nearby and Alex painted the scenario. Basically there were a couple of frames missing from inside the brood box - that's the chamber where the Queen lays her eggs. Other frames were skew-whiff and if anyone wanted to know what happens when anarchy breaks out in the controlled environment of a bee hive this was it. After the accident the lid must have just been replaced in a hurry and the bees were left to get on with it - and get on with it they did. They tried to bring order by making a wax brood frame without the frame which is a bit like knitting but without the needles! Using the top of the roof right down to the bottom of the hive, these tiny engineers had set about creating a solid wax structure, securely anchored which was used for the brood. It was one big sticky mess! So when hubby lifted the lid he also ripped up six free range combs from their solid anchor on the floor of the hive.

There was no quick fix solution for this so we set about on a damage limitation exercise, under the supervision of our mentor. God only knows what we would have done had Alex not been there but as you can see from the picture above this was a really complicated problem beyond our comprehension. There was nothing in the text books to cover this and certainly no mention of rubber bands, makeshift frames and how to deal with free range combs.

 We didn't even bother looking for the Queen - actually, we didn't have to as the whole heaving mass was full of eggs and larvae; proof positive an extremely fertile, active Queen was in action.  

STRETCHING IT: Six elastic bands restore some order

 Rather than destroy the wayward combs of brood we got three empty frames and somehow rescued part of the Queen's nursery by cutting the egg and larvae-laden wax to fit inside the frames. The whole structure was held in place either side by elastic bands. If you look closely at the picture on the right you can see the tell-tale signs of our DIY using the red elastic bands. The large wavey comb also in the picture is where the bees have constructed freestyle expanding the wax cells to fit the void. After our emergency repairs, and only one bee sting (Alex's head), we closed the hive and will check back in two weeks time. May be then we will look for the Queen. The whole exercise took the best part of two hours but it was an exilarating, if not tense, experience for a couple of rookies like me and my other half. Alex's presence also reinforced the view that all 'learner hivers' need a mentor on hand and he said himself that a bee apprenticeship should take around three years if such a thing existed.
 But whatever we went through with this hive inspection, nothing could prepare any of us for what we found when we inspected the hive which contained our first ever a swarm collected only last month from Ayr. Even now Alex is perplexed and has no answer for our shocking discovery ... but more of that later.
(Part two to follow, soon)

SILO SNIPPET

BEES do not like the colour brown or the smell of bananas - I picked up this little snippet from a veteran beekeeper just today and thought it was worth a share.

A HIVE OF ACTIVITY

Or what happens when bees swarm

 AS MANY of you already know the whole tribe has spent the last year as beekeepers-in-training and for the last few weeks we have been beekeepers-in-waiting.
 There's such a shortage of the amazing honeybee that they're like gold dust which has driven some beekeepers into a life a crime! Apiary raids, stolen beehives and a thriving black market has emerged as supply is continually outstripped by demand.

WARRE: this model is octagonal and far more

pleasing on the eye than the National

 So, as a would-be beekeeper I've been left somewhere near the bottom of the pile when it comes to sourcing occupants for my hives ... I have three types; a Warre, a National and a Smith. Priority has gone to veteran beekeepers who can call on old friends and contacts - we're still regarded very much as outsiders.
 Just imagine my joy when, out of the blue, I received a phone call from a beekeeper in Ayr who'd taken delivery of a swarm. "Do you want them?" he asked. He explained normally he would keep them for himself but since he was going on holiday first thing the following morning he didn't have time to manage a new colony.
 Without thinking I said yes and the next day drove four hours through a horizontal rainstorm to Ayr. I hardly encountered a single car on the way though the trip was punctuated by some of the most breath-taking scenery on the way. When I collected the 'swarm' box it was literally buzzing!
 In all the excitement I didn't even check to see if the queen bee was inside; stupid really because without the queen a colony simply can not function.
 As I made the return journey I was ecstatic as my dreams of becoming a full blown beekeeper were about to be realised. However the joy was short-lived or a wee bit premature, actually, when in a heart-stopping moment two bees emerged from the rear of the car. I wondered if I should stop or continue and opted for the latter. I opened all the windows and by the time I was near home I was wet and cold but at least no more bees had emerged from the box. Where the two bees had come from I'm not sure, but may be they were part of the swarm and had followed us into the car.
 I swung by a local supermarket in Hawick to buy some sugar to make some bee food and phoned ahead to hubby asking him to get everything prepared for our new guests. To my annoyance he-who-should-be-obeyed-but-rarely-is seemed singularly unimpressed. Instead of whooping with excitement at my news he had a story of his own to tell and gushed that he and a plumber had spent all morning and half the afternoon trying to unblock a water pipe. He told me he'd found the corpse of a dead animal which he couldn't flush from the pipe and had replaced the whole pipe as our entire water supply had been poisoned by the rotting body. However, despite all the gory details I was equally unimpressed with his countryside tale and felt my business was far more exciting and pressing.

PLANNING and preparation already underway 

for next week's arrivals - in theory less panic! 

 By the time I arrived to the madness we call home I was at fever pitch ... a combination of excitement and blind panic induced by a four hour journey in which I had envisaged being engulfed in a swarm of killer bees.

 Perhaps I should've calmed down, had a nice cup of tea and exchanged pleasantries and scones with hubby who was equally as high as a kite. He emerged from the loft triumphant having fitted new pipes and cleaned out the water tank which apparently contained all sorts of things you would not want to hear about here. I dismissed his tale with the wave of the hand and went for our bee kits.

 We donned our gloves and suits and headed for the National hive with the box still very much buzzing. The holidaying beekeeper had thoughtfully put in three frames for the bees and so the plan was to open the box and drop the frames into the empty hive. Simple enough? No! In layman's turns I had put the hive boxes in the wrong order and when I opened the box I was confronted by 10,000 bees the majority of which flew into the air and around my head. I tried to fit the frames into the National hive but they would not go. Mercifully, because they were part of a swarm the bees were still in party mood, full of honey from their previous hive and quite placid despite the rigors of my driving and now the ensuing fiasco of trying to fit the frames into the wrong box.

NATIONAL HIVE with the empty swarm box and preparations

underway to the right for the Warre hive and another colony

 I shouted at he-who-should-be-obeyed-but-rarely-is to put the hive layers in proper order but he shouted back because his hands were full with the top of the hive and extra food in the form of a sugar and water mix (hence the stopover at Hawick to pick up a couple of pounds of granulated sugar.) What followed was a vexed two minute shouting match between a Geordie and an Algerian literally surrounded by a swarm of 10,000 bees. We both have a short fuse and at this point neither party listened to the responses of the other.
 I then asked him to see if he could spot the queen - he retorted in Algerian so goodness knows what swear words were being thrown around and then I realised there was something else I'd forgotten - the smoker.
 It's the first thing every beekeeper does before he even goes to a hive. It's as automatic as putting on a seatbelt. Armed with the smoker the beekeeper wafts smoke in the general direction of the hive and/or bees to pacify them. I had forgotten this essential piece of equipment. Jaw dropping on realisation I daren't tell my other half this basic fact and contemplated running like mad for the house. He'd already asked why the material on his bee suit was much thinner than mine and said he thought a bee sting could easily penetrate the material.

BUSY BEES: At the hive entrance

 Fortunately I held my nerve and we somehow or another managed to get the bees into the hive despite our Laurel and Hardy approach. Even more miraculously neither of us were stung and today, three days on, the hive is showing all the outward signs of being very busy and full of activity. It seems the queen is inside and all her subjects are going about their business despite their precarious start as a new colony.

 A veteran beekeeper has told me to leave the hive alone now for a week and then go in and make sure the queen is intact and that there are no signs of the dreaded varroa mite or other signs of illness. I will report back in due course.  Although we've been blessed with amazing weather since the bees arrived I did put in an extra feed for them until they get settled. This was an upturned bowl containing a sugar and water mix but I have a nagging doubt we did not fit it correctly. All will no doubt be revealed when I venture into the hive for the first time next week.  I hope the bees are still in party mood by then but I will remember to take the smoker with me.

 In the meantime I'm now preparing my octagonal Warre hive for some new occupants arriving via courier early next week. I'm getting a colony of Buckfast bees from Shropshire and next month our third hive - the Scottish-made Smith - will be occupied courtesy of a colony from the West of Scotland.

We have also joined the Scottish Beekeepers Association and shall be taking our first bee masters course later this year. Hubby and I are so competitive that if we don't get equal scores life will be unbearable for one of us!

SILO SNIPPET

I'm absolutely buzzin' with excitement because tomorrow I head off to Ayr to pick up a swarm of bees - it's a 260 mile round trip but it'll be worth it ... if the queen is inside the box! Watch this space and wish me luck!

BEEHIVE AND BE PATIENT

.. Or calm down!

THERE'S a great buzz in the air as we prepare for the latest additions to our accidental farm - we've all been on a training course to learn how to handle these tricky new arrivals ... except they've not made an appearance yet.
 I could bring some stock over the Border from the southern counties but let's face it, soft southerners take months to acclimatise to the weather up North and some just simply don't survive life beyond the Watford Gap.
 My other half has spent so many years in London that it took months before his North African Berber genes kicked on (yes, I married a Barbarian).

FULL OF BUSY: A worker bee

 The weather for the last two years has admittedly been appalling in Scotland and add to that a nasty little bug called the Varroa Mite and a raging controversy over the use of pesticides it's no wonder that Britain's best workers are simply dying off.
 I am of course talking about the amazing honey bee, pictured right. Within weeks of arriving in Scotland I joined the Caddonfoot Beekeepers Association and the British Bee Keepers Association (BBKA) and managed to annoy everyone with my 'rush-about townie' attitude.

DAISY & TOM: Novice 

beekeepers-in-waiting

 'I thought I'd start beekeeping and want to know where I can buy hives and I want to set up by the end of next week,' I said as my opening introduction to a man from Caddonfoot. There was a deafening silence on the line lasting around 10 seconds and then I was told things don't work that way when it comes to bees.

 I interpreted this resistance to a touch of chauvinism but I couldn't have been more wrong. I was simply thundering along at a pace which simply just doesn't work in the countryside and, on reflection, he was probably gasping for breath wondering: 'Who is this incredibly stupid woman?'

 So, more than a year on I am now fully prepared, I think, to look after a colony or two of bees. Hubby and I have been on an excellent beginner's course in Cumbria at the delightful Greystoke Cycle Cafe: http://www.greystokecyclecafe.co.uk/Beekeeping.htm and myself, daughter Daisy and her friend Tom also had several hands-on lessons last year from a local beekeeper whose apiary is  on the outskirts of Edinburgh.

REHEARSALS: Anxious to  get

started I examine some frames

The next major obstacle was choosing a hive as there are many different makes in existence. As luck would have it a delightful lady beekeeper, retiring on the grounds of ill health, sold me her cream painted Smith hive which was designed by a Scottish beekeeper and  another, more dispirited soul, sold me his National  hive after losing  his entire colony of bees for the third year running because of inclement weather conditions.  And, I've also ordered an octagonal Warre hive although I have been advised - too late - that keeping three different types of hives will present problems in the future. Obviously I shall be sharing these with you in Soho 2 Silo 

HIVES: Smith (l) & National (r)

 and naturally I would appreciate any input, advice or feedback as I go along. Who knows, I may even have some honey at the end of all of this.

 So now I'm all set to go but unable to progress until I get some bees. I've asked around Caddonfoot and my name has gone on a waiting list but in the meantime I guess I'm going to have to cast my net wider to try and get at least a colony up and running.

 So if you are a beekeeper and you're reading this please get in touch if you can help and/or advise me from where I can get a colony of bees. I'm told the weather has been so bad generally that the beekeeping community north of the Border is already one month behind.

FEATHERS FLY IN FIRST CLASS DRAMA

.. Or the last post?

POSTIE'S DILEMMA: Geese & turkeys cause

a kerfuffle with the Royal Mail

 I BET Postman Pat never faced the challenges thrown at the heroic staff who run a first class delivery service in the Scottish Borders.
As you can see the picture on the right reveals a sorry tale of several failed attempts to deliver my letters because of the antics of Jack the Gander and some turbulent turkeys!
The regular Royal Mail male has learned to work around the birds delivering letters by stealth but when he took a week off I don't think his stand-in was prepared for the daily onslaught.
 Unlike most couriers who are ambushed after leaving their vehicles, it seems my turkeys and the geese launched a full frontal offensive before the new postie even had a chance to step out  the mail van. Quite wisely the occupant decided to return the next day and then the next day ... and as you can see from the labels on the envelope it became a daily mission impossible.
 Some couriers are not as conscientious as the employees of the Royal Mail and I've found parcels flung in various bushes and corners while the deliverer beats a hasty retreat from badass Jack and the rest of the bird crew. Suddenly the need to obtain a signature loses its importance in the face of a hostile Bourbon Red.
 While most of the UK's long-suffering posties have to contend with canine capers anyone heading down my drive way can expect an encounter of a different kind.
 Apart from the fact it's the mating season and the ganders and turkey stags are unusually aggressive there's also a great deal of tension in the air because any day now we're expecting the geese and turkey eggs to hatch. As most expectant mums can vouch, tempers do get frayed towards the end and female mammals are not the only ones affected by last minute nerves.
Now I have some good news and some bad news for the postal staff in this district - the good news is once Spring is sprung we can all resume a normal service. The bad news is if all eggs hatch then we could see an additional 20 geese and up to 15 turkeys roaming freely.
 * By the way, did I mention that I'm off on another training course this weekend ... for would-be bee keepers? I wonder how our delivery folk feel about winged honey-gatherers?